WARNING: Long post ahead.
One of the reasons why I started this blog a while back is to give me an avenue to vent. Which leads me into something that happened at the company office last week... (Guys, forgive me for this.)
Friday, about 2 PM Japan time. I'm working at my desk when one of the office full-time teachers (let's call him Guy A) comes over with two other full-timers for some small talk before they headed out for lunch. As usual at this time of year, the subject comes to what is going on with possible contracts for the next academic year. While talking about that, Guy A says that our company won't have a contract with his assigned schools' city board of education next year.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard anything about that BoE's plans. You probably know more than I do about that, then."
"Come on," Guy A says. "I thought you were the senior guy here. I thought you live here! You're out of the loop! What's going on?"
At that moment, I get really ticked off. And usually at the moment I get ticked off, I can't speak straight. So I let out a shocked "What?!?"
Then Guy B, who's standing next to Guy A, chimes in. "He's right... you are the senior guy here."
Now I'm fuming. These guys were berating me! "You are the senior guy... " I'm really pissed now. But like most of you know, I'm not one for open confrontation when I'm upset, so I just turned back to my computer and ignored the guys until they left for lunch.
That was a pretty busy day at the office, so I didn't give it any other thought the rest of the day. But during the weekend, my stupid brain reminded me of the incident, and I dwelled on it all weekend. I couldn't get it out of my head: "You are the senior guy... you live here!"
First of all, I don't like being mocked. Yeah, some guys do it as a joke, and that's cool. But they usually accompany the insults with a laugh or some expression or gesture that lets you know, "Hey man, I'm just playing with you." None of that occured.
Second, what does being the "senior guy" have to do with anything? I am the senior guy... of the native English teachers. That means jack on my company's totem pole. You guys who are former co-workers of mine, you know the deal. As the personnel coordinator, I have one role, other than teaching. My boss tells me what positions we have available, and I find teachers for them. That's it. I have nothing to do with my company's negotiations with school boards. Apparently Guy A thinks I should know everything about anything about the company.
Third, "You live here..." If working two days a week at the company office means living there, then I must be hibernating at the high school I work at for 3 days a week.
Then again, I should have expected something like this from Guy A, who, just 2 months into his employment here, listened to me offer someone a position, then proceeded to criticize me and tell me what I should do better (things that, by the way, goes against the company philosophy). Now, I'm not a human resources expert by any means, but if someone has been at a company longer than I have, I'm not about to give that person any advice on how to do their job unless they specifically ask for it.
Now, the main thing I dwelled on over the weekend was not that, but whether or not I should have told him off at the time of the incident. Part of me said, "You should have said something to shut him up!" But the other part said, "You know what... you did the right thing by ignoring them. Like your family always said, you start arguing with them over nonsense, you come down to their level. You don't want to look like them, right? Plus, you have other avenues for venting, like blogging."
If you're reading this, I'd love to hear your comments on this.
Hey man. Damn, it really sounds bad there for you. You didn't hire T.O. for real did you? Hehe, just kiddin' with ya man.
ReplyDeleteIn your position, I probably would have reacted and done the exact same thing. Having said that, it also would have been really tough not to have blown up right then and there.
All I can say is, keep your head up and try not to pay any attention to those idiot-kickers getting all-liquored up ala Peyton Manning. They couldn't hold your jock strap anyway.
If you still feel that retribution must be fulfilled, give me a call and I'll knock some sense into them...or at the very least we'll just grab a beer the next time I'm in Osaka.
Happy belated new years!
Herman, that sucks. I hate it when people take stuff out on those who don't deserve it, and you clearly have nothing to do with their frustrations.
ReplyDeleteI'll offer my opinion, but take it with a grain of salt, as I was not a model employee in the office at times:
First, I am guessing that these problems are stemming from poor management (not meaning you). You really aren't in a situation to rectify this issue, but as such, recognize that there are things that you will have to deal with to prevent people from associating you with THE upper management.
With us (meaning Jason, Huw, Hannah, and I, among some of the others), we knew what your position was and how little power you, or for that matter anyone, had in the decisions that got made around our division. This was mainly because we went out to lunch with you, Jason gave us some background on the operations, and we did group activities like going out after work and football in the park.
I'm guessing that this staff doesn't really do the same things as us, and that there was nobody to tell them how things work around the office. That's what happened with a few of the employees that joined us later in the year. You might try setting up lunch sessions with groups when people are in the office, and giving a "how things really work around here" informal talk periodically.
You might suggest to SD that team building activities might be a nice thing to do some times when things are slow in the office. You can disguise this, if you need to, as "lesson planning". If you are interested in this, let me know...
What I'm talking about above are preventive approaches, while below I'll discuss reactive strategies:
But let's face it, sometimes your co-workers are just going to be a-holes and nut cases. In these situations, you can do a few things.
You chose the less confrontational method and remained quiet. That might not work for a few reasons:
1. in their eyes, you have agreed with their accusations by remaining quiet. From a Japanese standpoint, holding your tongue means something completely different, but not on foreigners.
2. Internalizing your frustrations is unhealthy. You can literally get sick holding your emotions in and keeping everything to yourself.
I would probably take them aside for a private chat and explain my situation to them. If that didn't work, I'd send them to talk to James. It's HIS job to put up with their BS, not yours. And after work I'd probably go to Jiu-jutsu practice and take my pent up energy out on the mat, or watch some Pride or K-1.
Hey, good luck with these guys, and don't let people push you around. If worst comes to worst, give 'em a nice big bitchslap (or fantasize about it, anyways).
Adam
It boils the blood to get disrespect straight in teh face by a half-wit and his monkey uncle.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's at work, where you HAVE to deal with the WonderTwins. Who might not be that cloesly associated, but they are in this story, so I'm sticking to it.
Anyway, you did the BEST thing by ignoring them. A fire dies when it gets no air. Give them no fuel, then they get bored and go away.
Or they try to escalate, which means you can get them caught in shenanigans. Giving enough rope for them to hang themselves is a sweet, sweet revenge.
In the meantime, enjoy your real friends. These twits aren't WORTH your ire. Yuo have better things to do with your time and energy.
Though it's really hard to follow through on that when all you can hear is a sarcastic voice.
Punks.
Anyway, you did the best thing.
Cheers!
why haven't you posted any comments lately? I miss reading about your life. Please post some comments soon! Waiting for you, buddy!!
ReplyDeletewhen are you going to update this? waiting to hear from you...with love,
ReplyDeleteHey, what's up? I asked you before, but here I'd like to ask you again! When are you going to update this? Pleeeeeeeeese update for me! I love to read about your life.
ReplyDelete