Since Tuesday, I've had this huge stressful feeling in my body. You know, it's the kind of stress you get when you're about to do a big event like a college exam, a public speech or asking that girl that you have a crush on out for a movie and some Red Lobster. Or when something's bothering you a lot, like your job or somebody you know. You know the feeling: a lot of pressure in your chest, mild shaking, nausea, loss of appetite, muscle soreness, throat tighness, heart palpitations. I've had all of that since Tuesday. It was so bad yesterday that I just bought a salad for lunch, and I couldn't even finish that.
It certainly feels like stress, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why. My life is good. The high school is... well, like it's always been. I've learned to deal with students' shenanigans (did I just say that?) , so it doesn't bother me anymore. At the Osaka office, even though things have been busy since last Thursday, I feel pretty relaxed working there nowadays. My relationship with my GF is at its best point in the 4 years we've been dating. I can't think of anything that has happened recently that would stress me out like that. I even thought back to what happened to me at my high school's sports day, but that was last Friday. This started on Tuesday.
Thinking that something was terribly wrong with me, I went to see a doctor after work last night. However, after checking me out, he said that nothing was wrong with me physically. My blood pressure was good, and my pulse was normal. Only thing he saw wrong was that my shoulders were very hard and tense (usually a result of stress). His conclusion was that I was very stressed about something. He asked me if anything had been bothering me lately, or if I'm dreading anything that's coming up in the future. I told him I couldn't think of anything at all. The doctor said either I'm lying or I'm too shy to tell him what's really going on, because from what he could tell, I was stressed out. He gave me something to increase my appetite, told me to exercise and eat healthy, and sent me on my way.
After leaving the clinic, I thought, OK, I'll trust the doctor on this one. So from last night, I've been trying my best to relax. I've been taking things slowly, breathing deeply and listening to bossa nova. And guess what? I've felt a lot better. I'm probably at 85% now. Maybe the old doctor was right after all. But that still doesn't solve the mystery: Why am I stressed? I still can't figure it out.
Part of the reason for your stress, at least in my humble opinion, seems to be that you hardly vent about things. You do vent in your blogs every once in a while, which is great, but it's still not the same as really voicing your frustrations out vocally. Trust me, a little T.O. outburst every once in a blue moon does everyone some good.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Do you do anything to take out your stress, like work out or martial arts? Hitting stuff and moving around helps me to vent my frustrations. I don't know what I would do if I kept it all in, but I don't think it would be a good thing.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe you just need to come out with us for a beer or two...
Yeah, I don't work out like I used to anymore - that's probably one reason. I do need to find a physical way to vent sometimes. And yeah, I might take you guys up on the beer offer... haven't been out drinking for a while.
ReplyDeleteYou guys made some good points; I shouldn't keep frustration hidden in. But what still bugs me is why I became stressed like that in a good week. I guess it caught up with me, but talk about a big delay.
I started feeling that way just reading your post. Sympathy pains, man. Did you ever figure it out?
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, I meant to say, I'll bet bossanova is great for that. I'll have to keep it in mind. Even though I'm home full time now, sometimes I get really stressed. You know we listen to a lot of jazz around here, and at least some of it is Latin (or Portuguese).
ReplyDelete