Bobby!!!!

Okay, this is beginning to bother me quite a bit. To students at my high school, I am no longer known as Herman. I'm known as Bobby Ologun. Every time I go to school and teach, I get at least one "Oh - Bobby!!!" from a student, whether its in class or in the hallway. You know what - it's not even limited to my school any more. While I was walking home from the train station the other day, these three high school-age punks on a bicycle yelled "Bobby!!!" in my ear as they were riding by. (I still can't figure out how three high school boys fit on a bicycle - another one of the mysteries of Japan.)

For those of you who don't know, Bobby Ologun is a K-1 fighter from Nigeria turned Japan television celebrity. Fame-wise, he hit the big time in 2005 and was all over TV, so most Japanese know who he is. That was bad news for me, at least as far as my work at high school goes.

Now, usually this stuff doesn't bother me. I take insults better than most people. In middle school I was called Steve Urkel. My first year of college, old white ladies said I looked like Tiger Woods. Heck, even last year, when I started work at high school, the kids called me Kevin Lyttle. I took all that in stride. But for some reason, this whole Bobby Ologun thing has really got under my skin.


First of all, I look nothing like Bobby Ologun, besides the fact that we both have dark skin. I can see the comparisons with Tiger Woods. I can even see Urkel. But I don't see this at all.


But I can be lenient on that. Maybe the real reason is because I don't like the guy at all.

If you've seen the guy, the way he acts in public is an embarrassment to black people everywhere, whether African or African-American. He's a straight up goofball, who acts stupid all the time, speaking botched Japanese (my GF says it's obviously on purpose - apparently Ologun has pretty good Japanese skills). It's good entertainment for some Japanese, but can you imagine the stereotypes that are forming in the minds of a people that hardly interact with blacks? Goofball. Stupid. Can't speak Japanese.

Of course, I shouldn't get too hot under the collar about dissing by high school punks that'll be pumping my gas someday. Nobody other than these students have called me Bobby. So I'm not trying to say that Japan is racist toward blacks or anything like that (Little Black Samba situation aside). But I'd be lying if I said the whole Bobby thing hasn't bothered me at all.

Game, Set, Match

Over the winter break, my hair had grown kind of too long. I guess with that, plus the fact that I've started wearing glasses regularly again after years of contacts, I looked like a very famous American athlete during my time in the U.S.

As I was going through one of the security checkpoints at Orlando International Airport in January, one of the guards said, "Hey man, I gotta tell you... You look like Arthur Ashe."

Then, on the plane itself, one of the flight attendants said, "Would you like beef or... hey, did anybody ever tell you that you look like a young Arthur Ashe?"

Well, as a matter of fact, yes, somebody has told me that. That's what I wanted to say, but I refrained. Anyway, it didn't take me too long to cut my hair once I got back to Japan. Not that it was all that bad to be called Arthur Ashe. Beats being called Bobby Ologun any day (by the way, that's a subject for a future post).

Donald and Me

Donald Duck's a great guy. He just quacks me up with those jokes of his. 

Get in my belly!

Now, Pluto is cool and all... but does my head look like a bone? 

The Leaning Dome of Pisa

Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida. 

Honey, them gators are back!

Alligators in your backyard again, eating the dog, scaring the children? Call the State Alligator Trapper at 1-800-555-GATOR. Nobody captures gators better than we do. Again, that's 1-800-555-GATOR. Call now and receive coupons for a free alligator meat dinner! 

The Trip Home

As you may know, for a little over two weeks in December and January I went home to the U.S. for the first time in 2 1/2 years. It was a good trip. (In the next few days, I'll be posting up some pics from the trip, so look for that.)

A lot of the expats here in Japan say that when you go back home to visit, everything seems like a dream. They weren't kidding. I think the biggest thing that affected me was the sheer size of the spaces in America. Front lawns. 10-lane highways. Buildings that stretch sideways instead of up. Supermarkets located 5 miles away from home. After living in claustrophobic Japan so long, I felt disoriented many a time. Strangely enough, I felt like I didn't have a good grasp of my surroundings until I got back to Japan. But being in a place I had never lived before - Tampa and Orlando, Florida - might have had a lot to do with that.

Anyway, other than that, the trip was good. The nine days with my parents was very nice. My grandmother, my aunt and cousin also came down for Christmas. I didn't see my brother, though. He was busy with work and all. (Do you even check your email, boy? If not, get yo derriere to yo computer - I know you have one.) The rest of my time there was spent in Orlando with the GF, who came to Florida several days after I did. We went to Disney World and Universal Orlando. Overall, great stuff, man.

Welcome from the USA

To all my fans: Hello from the USA! I made it safe and sound to Tampa, Florida. Unfortunately, my parents' computer is all but dead, so this will be the only post I put up while in the USA. Don't worry; when I'm back in Japan, I'll write all about my adventures. Take care, guys.

"Konnichiwa... oh, my bad, I meant, whazzzup???"

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be flying to the U.S. for the first time since I moved to Japan. I'm gonna visit my parents' new home in Tampa, Florida for a week before meeting up with the GF up the road in Orlando and spending another week at Walt Disney World. I'm kind of nervous; after all, it has been two and a half years. The last time I was in the States, George W. Bush was saying "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq. Colin Powell was still the Secretary of State. SARS was the big fear instead of the bird flu. Destiny's Child and N.E.R.D. were still together. Anyway, if I have access to a computer, I'll try to keep you all updated on my adventures. The Nihon Chronicles will become The Florida Chronicles for a couple of weeks.

That depends on what you mean by "Where"...

Every now and then in Japan, this kind of conversation takes place:

Somebody: Where are you from?
Herman: America.
Somebody: Where in America are you from?
Herman: Well... you see... uh... that is...

Okay, you're wondering, "How hard of a question can it be?" Man, you just don't know. Let me break it down simply for you.

• I was born in Birmingham, Alabama, and lived there until the end of my elementary school years.
• My family moved to Atlanta before I started middle school.
• Before my sophomore year of high school, we moved to Honolulu, Hawaii.
• After I graduated high school, we moved back to Birmingham, and not long after that, I went to college at the University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa).
• While I was still in college, my family moved up to Vancouver, Washington. After graduating, I lived there a total of 9 months before I moved to Japan.

Confusing, huh? I tell people in Japan that I'm from Washington state, to make things simpler. After all, that was where I moved to Japan from. But is that true? Am I lying to people? I don't have a good answer for that. Should I say I'm from Alabama? I spent about half of my life so far in that state. Plus, I was born there, and my grandparents and many family members live there. But my most recent memories of the U.S. are of Washington state, a place where I felt at home and had good times. What do you think? I wanna hear your comments on this one.

The Golden Temple

This is Kinkaku-ji in Kyoto, one of the most beautiful temples I've seen in this country. Yep, the walls really are lined with gold. This is a must-see for anybody in Kyoto. Beware the crowds, though. I went on a Tuesday and even then the walkways were packed. 

Memoirs of a Maiko

Here's a picture of me with some maiko in Kyoto. They look happy, don't you think?

That's The Way Of The World

I swear to you I'm not making this up. I get on the train this morning to go to the office. I stand in a space right in front of this salaryman jamming to his headphones. He looks up, takes one glance at me, then looks at his iPod, presses a few buttons, and starts listening to his music at a very high volume. It was so easy to hear the music, and when I did, I noticed he was listening to some Earth Wind and Fire! I guess seeing me in all my blackness put him in the mood for some 70s funk. You never know, man, you never know.

Don't Panic... They're Just Arrows

Another kikuningyo from Hirakata Park (see the previous post). You know what... U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald "You-go-to-war-with-the-armor-you-have" Rumsfeld needs to look into using chrysantheums to protect the troops in Iraq. They worked wonders for this guy. 

Sure Beats Aloha Shirts

This past weekend, I went with my GF's family and her mother's cousin's family to a place just outside Osaka called Hirakata Park, scene of something called kikuningyo (lifesize dolls with clothes made from chrysantheums). The creator of these beautiful dolls passed away recently, so the Park is planning to discontinue the display after 90 or so years. Apparently, the dude didn't train someone to become the master after he passed. Anyway, this year is the last to see something of a tradition here in the Osaka area, so we took advantage.

It turns out we weren't the only ones taking advantage, as the place was packed to see these kikuningyo. We had to wait 40 minutes just to get in the building, and once inside, the corridors were full of people trying to squeeze their way through, pushing and struggling to get that perfect view of each scene. Not exactly a fun time. To give you an idea, the above picture, from the time I said "Hey, this is a good spot for a picture" to pressing the shutter button, took about 5 seconds. That's all we had before the masses would push us to the next set of dolls. A great day out, huh? At least the amusement park rides made up for it. 

Needin' A Fresh Cut

Perhaps all foreign men in Japan have it a bit tough every now and then. But only black men stress about where they can find a barber shop to cut their hair. You see, most foreigners have hair not too much unlike Japanese - in other words, straight. A person used to cutting straight hair just doesn't know how to cut a black man's hair. Yes, they can learn fairly easy. But how many barbers in Japan have had the opportunity to learn how to cut a black man's hair? Right.

Lately, my hair has been a mess. I've been searching on the internet, trying to find a barber shop around Osaka that can cut a black man's hair. The best I could do was find a place in Tokyo and another in Yokohama. But I'm not about to travel 3 hours and pay 40,000 yen ($400) return just to get a haircut.

I do have my own hair clippers, and I can cut my hair well enough so that it looks okay. But lately, I haven't had much time to. Besides, there's nothing quite like the feeling of hopping in that chair and letting a barber do his thing. Ah well... I'll just wait until I'm in Florida in December.

Rumbly Tummy

I love Japanese food. There's hardly a better cuisine in the world. That doesn't mean that there's not any food that I miss from back home. For example:

-non-Korean, big slab-of-meat-style barbeque. You know, ribs, chicken, fat hamburgers, corn-on-the-cob and some baked beans. Speaking of beans...
-pork and beans and wieners
-Taco Bell
-Burger King fries
-jambalaya
-Krispy Kreme
-real apple pie
-Arby's roast-beef sandwiches
-cornbread
-oatmeal
-Chick-Fil-A
-fettucine alfredo
-Honey Smacks

"Practice?!? We talkin' about practice!!!"

Not long after I wrote about how things were about to go bad at my high school, a good thing happened yesterday. After classes, I didn't have anything in particular to do, so I decided to lace up my sneaks and shoot some hoops in the gym. To my surprise, when I walked in, I saw a group of my favorite ichinensei already playing a pickup game of basketball (most of them were girls). Out of all of my ichinensei that actually complete each worksheet and pay attention to me in each class, probably 80% of them were present on the basketball court yesterday. Amazing.

There were 9 of them, so they were eager for a 10th player and they called me over. We played 1 1/2 hours of good, fun ball. They oooohed and aaaaahed my amazing dribbling, passing and defensive skills while laughing at my terrible shooting. The best part was that during the breaks, many of them were actually begging for some English conversation. That's the kind of stuff I've been dreaming about.

Of course, the question is, Why don't they do this in the classroom? These same students are also among the most quiet in my classes, but you wouldn't have known it from their on-court trash talking. Ah well... I'll just wait for more opportunities like this.

Student Strike

It's November, and you know what that means... time for things to start going downhill at the high school. Consider what happened this past Monday. In one of my classes, about 90% of the students (including all the girls) quit on me with 10 minutes to go. There I was, finishing a fun game and starting to explain the last writing exercise, when these students just came up and handed in their unfinished worksheet, went back to their desks and started talking to each other. The main teacher and I tried in vain to get them to get their worksheets and do the last part, but to no avail. They just ignored us. So the last 10 minutes of the class were taught to only 3 students. I've never heard of anything like that happening before.

I mean, these were not just the usual troublemakers I'm talking about here. As a matter of fact, this was usually a well-behaved class. So it's shocking that 90% just quit on me like that. It couldn't have been the lesson, either; I've used that lesson for 2 weeks in other classes, with relative success. I guess it's just time for things to go wrong. I knew the relatively great year I was having here couldn't last that long.

Update

Sorry I haven't written here for a while, but I've been major busy recently. Here's an abbreviated version of what's been happening lately:

• Last weekend, I got my first driving ticket ever, for illegal parking. The GF and I go by car every now and then to visit her family, and we've always parked in that same spot for about 2 years now. I guess the police weren't busy watching crime dramas at that time. Anyway, since I was driving, I had to pay a fine of 15,000 yen (about $140 US) and got 2 demerits on my license that come off in 3 months.
• On Tuesday, I taught at a kindergarten for the first time. I had four lessons, and man, did it wear me out! I could barely stay focused the rest of the day. But it was a lot of fun. Those 4- and 5-year-old kids were awesome, and smart, too. Once the buzz got around the kindergarten that there was a big foreign guy named Herman there, kids started visiting the office during my breaks, saying, "Herman-sensei!" How amazing is that? At my high school, there are students I've known for over a year and a half that still can't get my name right. (Well... either that or they choose not to.)
• For the first time ever, a foreign manager (Bobby Valentine?!?) won the Japan Series, the equivalent of the World Series here, when Chiba Lotte beat the (Osaka) Hanshin Tigers in a 4-game sweep. To realize how amazing that is, check out Robert Whiting's cool books You Gotta Have Wa and The Meaning of Ichiro.